Apocalypse Rudy Reyes Helps us Get ready for the Judgement Day

Here’s a positive start for 2010: This week on the History Channel is Armageddon Week. In case you missed the presentation of “Apocalypse Island,” don’t worry: you can always grab “Life After People,” which discusses topics such as “Death of a Nation, Lost Art,” and “10,000 + years after humans.” There is also “After Armageddon,” and as a final point, “Apocalypse Man.” “Apocalypse Island” is so named for a place in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that holds the final clue to the Mayans’ apocalyptic predictions for the year 2012.

Damn. And here I thought that January was a time for New Year’s Resolutions and optimistic fresh beginnings. But if we only have two years until the end of the world, what’s the point? The History Channel website states: “The end is near. At least that’s what the doomsday predictions from Nostradamus, the Book of Revelation, the Mayan ‘long count’ calendar and others would have us consider. Many worrying forecasts of global demolition even locate the year: 2012. How bothered should we be?”

Well, thank kindness we have the Apocalypse Man, Rudy Reyes, to help us. This show provides advice for “not if…but when…a moment in the future…some catastrophe sparks bulk demolition, leaving humans challenged to find protection, heat, foodstuff, water and security. survival expert Rudy Reyes journeys through abandoned buildings showing us some remarkable survival techniques, including making fire from steel wool, finding safe houses and creating shortwave radio transmissions.” Perhaps bad news is easier to take coming from a handsome, ripped ex-Marine.

This whole end of the world thing is all very troublesome. However, notice the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen of “After Armageddon” in among commercial breaks: “This program is a theoretical account of the worst case scenario for a global disaster. This is not a real emergency.” Well, now you tell me. I had already started hoarding canned goods and practicing my fire-making techniques. Now I can get back to carrying out my ambitious New Year’s Resolutions. Or at least telling myself that I will.